I too, like many of us, have experienced the sting of being picked last. I remember it vividly. As a kid, I was often chosen last for sports teams. That memory from when I was seven years old is still clear as day, even now at 44. It was a feeling of rejection and insignificance that can easily haunt a person throughout their life. But instead of letting it define me negatively, I turned it into a source of strength.
Read this: You need to learn to be a leader in your own life.
Doing something where I am last or the worst no longer scares me.
The irony is that many of those people who once picked me last are now just spectators while my life is full of athleticism and so many other things. Being picked last doesn’t determine your future. Just keep taking steps forward, and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
Embracing the Journey, Not the Destination
As a PhD student and now as a professor, I often feel a twinge of sadness when people brag about how much they work. This is somehow supposed to impress me? Almost every conversation in academia revolves around how hard (or not so hard) someone works. Why? Isn’t there better things in life?
When you’re 80 years old and you look back, are you going to be happy with yourself because you ran another regression on Sunday morning? Isn’t the time that you spent with your family or friends more worthy of conversation? Aren’t the “ideas” more interesting than the work itself?
I almost always have to distance myself from those conversations, but not because I don’t like the people who talk like that, but because of how it makes me feel inside. I prioritize things that give me joy, and it just so happens that work, so I can brag about work, is often at the bottom of that list. Love who you are, not what you accomplish.
Read one of the most important blog posts that I wrote about the PhD journey.
The Power of Resilience in Academia
Resilience is often born out of experiences like being picked last. It teaches you to persist despite setbacks, to find inner strength when external validation is lacking. My childhood experience of being picked last taught me invaluable lessons in resilience and self-reliance. Instead of letting rejection define me, I used it as fuel to push myself further, to prove to myself and others that my worth was not tied to others’ perceptions.
In academia, resilience is crucial. Rejections from journals, grant denials, and harsh peer reviews are all part of the journey. These experiences can be disheartening, but they also offer opportunities to grow stronger and more determined. Embracing failure and using it as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block can lead to remarkable personal and professional growth.
Redefining Success in Academia
Success in academia should not be measured solely by the number of papers published or the hours spent in the lab. It’s about the impact of your ideas, the passion you bring to your research, and the lives you touch through your teaching and mentorship. Academic work is meaningful, but it should not come at the cost of your well-being or the relationships that matter most.
I’ve learned to redefine success in my own academic career. It’s not about being the most prolific publisher or the hardest worker; it’s about making a genuine contribution to knowledge and fostering a supportive, inspiring environment for my students and colleagues. It’s about balancing professional ambitions with personal fulfillment and ensuring that my work aligns with my values.
Building a Supportive Academic Community
The R3ciprocity Project embodies this philosophy. It’s about creating a supportive community where academics can thrive without the toxic culture of overwork and competition. The project emphasizes practical understanding, encouragement, and a renewed belief in the power of exploration. By focusing on changing hearts and souls rather than just numbers and metrics, R3ciprocity aims to transform the academic landscape.
Instead of relying on abstract data and complex theories, the R3ciprocity Project bridges the gap between academic research and real-world solutions, demonstrating how scholarly work can lead to practical solutions and personal growth. It’s about fostering better scholars, encouraging continuous learning, and connecting individuals who share a passion for discovery.
Prioritizing What Truly Matters
When I reflect on my academic journey, I prioritize the moments that bring me joy and fulfillment. It’s not the countless hours spent crunching data or writing papers that I cherish most, but the meaningful interactions with students, the breakthroughs in understanding, and the collaborative efforts with colleagues. These are the experiences that define my career and give it purpose.
I encourage my fellow academics to prioritize what truly matters in their lives. Invest time in your passions, nurture your relationships, and embrace the journey of discovery with an open heart. Academia is a demanding field, but it should also be a source of inspiration and joy. By finding balance and focusing on what brings us happiness, we can create a more fulfilling and sustainable academic life.
Love Who You Are, Not Just What You Accomplish
Ultimately, the key to a rewarding academic career lies in loving who you are, not just what you accomplish. Embrace your unique strengths, learn from your setbacks, and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that being picked last doesn’t determine your future. It’s the steps you take and the resilience you build along the way that shape your journey.
Through the R3ciprocity Project and my own experiences, I’ve learned that true success in academia is about more than just achievements. It’s about making a positive impact, fostering a supportive community, and finding joy in the pursuit of knowledge. Let’s shift the focus from bragging about how hard we work to celebrating the passion and creativity that drive us. In the end, it’s not the quantity of our work that matters, but the quality of our lives and the connections we make along the way.