self-care – R3ciprocity Blog

The Reality of Independent Scholarship Research life often feels like a constant reminder that someone else is smarter, faster, or more successful than you. It can be overwhelming—like you're constantly falling short, no matter how hard you try. If you choose to be a self-made scholar, this feeling will intensify because you will not have the structured training or guidance others do. Even when you receive good training, you will quickly realize that no one can prepare you for everything. You will have to learn completely new areas by yourself—new methods, new literatures, even entire new fields. It’s not easy. But this is what it means to be a scholar. Read this post about why you have to redefine success as a researcher. You Will Have to Teach Yourself Everything Most people assume that scholars receive a structured education that prepares them for every challenge they will face. This is a myth. Even if you attend the best institutions, you will encounter knowledge gaps that no one else can fill for you. You will need to figure out how to bridge these gaps yourself. This means: Reading beyond your discipline Learning research techniques with little or no guidance Teaching yourself statistical methods, programming languages, or theoretical frameworks that no one around you understands Finding ways to fund your work, often without institutional support Navigating academic publishing and conference networking alone You are alone. Take that in. Yes, you will have to do it by yourself. Yes, no one is coming to the rescue. While formal training provides a foundation, no program will ever fully prepare you for the intellectual and practical challenges of research. You will have to take responsibility for your own education. Stop Caring About Impressing Others The academic world thrives on competition and approval, and the desire to impress others can become an all-consuming force. The pressure to appear accomplished, knowledgeable, and successful is relentless. No matter what you achieve, someone will always seem ahead of you. This endless cycle of seeking recognition can drain your motivation and leave you feeling empty. If you constantly seek external validation, you will never be satisfied. Instead, shift your focus to doing meaningful work that fulfills you. Ask yourself, “Am I happy with what I’m creating?” That is what truly matters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZdZXGccU3E When I began to not care about my career was when I began to excel. Everyone Feels This Way Even the most accomplished scholars experience imposter syndrome. Albert Einstein once admitted, 'The exaggerated esteem in which my life work is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.' It might look like others have it all figured out, but behind the scenes, most researchers feel inadequate. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that the successful ones push forward despite these feelings. Talk to others about their struggles, and you will realize that even the best researchers have moments of doubt--every day. Knowing that everyone is navigating uncertainty can help you push through your own moments of insecurity. Learn for the Sake of Learning A common misconception in academia is that you must specialize narrowly and never deviate from your field. But the best scholars embrace continuous learning. The real challenge is not just in absorbing new knowledge but in seeking out interdisciplinary perspectives. Herbert Simon, a pioneer in decision-making and artificial intelligence, exemplified this by actively scheduling meetings with experts across all disciplines at Carnegie Mellon. He understood that groundbreaking insights often emerge from unexpected intersections of knowledge. The real challenge is not in mastering a single area but in adapting to new knowledge. You must become comfortable reading outside your domain, absorbing unfamiliar concepts, and integrating new ideas into your work. Some of the most significant breakthroughs happen when researchers step outside their comfort zones. By constantly expanding your knowledge, you gain insights that others in your field might overlook. This is not a one-time task but a lifelong habit. If you need help check out this post on dealing with the strong negative emotions that occur in academic research. Focus on Your Own Journey Comparison is the thief of joy. Every researcher has a different path, timeline, and set of priorities. Measuring yourself against others is like comparing apples to oranges—it’s unfair and unhelpful. The same goes for obsessing over citations and metrics. The academic world thrives on these numbers, but they don’t capture the true value of your work. If you let them dictate your self-worth, you will never feel satisfied. Instead, focus on creating meaningful research that excites you, regardless of how many people cite it. Ask yourself not will it get published, but "Will I find joy in doing it?" Instead, set personal goals that matter to you. Break your work into small, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress. Research is a marathon, not a sprint. When you focus on your growth, you’ll feel more satisfied with where you are. Redefine Success Success in research is often tied to external markers like publications, grants, and citations. But these things don’t define you. True success lies in doing work that aligns with your values and makes a difference, even if it’s small. Ask yourself: Am I learning something valuable? Am I contributing knowledge that excites me? Am I helping others through my work? If the answer is yes, then you are already succeeding. Ignore the rest of the garbage that occurs. https://blog.r3ciprocity.com/the-hidden-strength-in-screwing-up-lessons-for-life-and-research/ You Will Be Ignored A harsh truth of academia is that you will often be ignored. You will send emails that never receive replies. You will reach out to potential collaborators or mentors who express interest but never follow through. People will say they want a meeting, but they won’t schedule it. Even when they do, they may cancel at the last minute or never follow up. The reality is that most people are too busy, too distracted, or simply not interested in helping. You will be left doing it all yourself. Accepting this early on will save you frustration. Absorb this. Learn from it. Repeat it: You will have to do it yourself. Instead of waiting for others, push forward on your own. Most People Won’t Help You After spending thousands of hours trying to build resources for researchers, I’ve learned an uncomfortable truth: many don’t actually want to help you. It’s not about laziness—it’s about fear, perfectionism, and systemic barriers that hold people back. Some reasons researchers avoid improvement: Fear of rejection – They don’t want to hear that their work isn’t good enough. Comfort in familiarity – Learning new methods is difficult and intimidating. Academic pressure – Constant deadlines and tight budgets make growth seem secondary. Low self-worth – When you’re always criticized, it’s easy to believe you’re incapable of growth. Perfectionism – Researchers hesitate to share work until it’s flawless, delaying progress. Lack of support – Many scholars lack mentors who encourage them to take risks. Status – Scholars may think that you are below what they are capable of. The myth of natural talent – Some believe great researchers are “born brilliant” and that struggling means they aren’t cut out for academia. Burnout – Many are simply too exhausted to take on additional challenges. This is why self-made scholars are rare. Most people stop when things get difficult. They quit or get out. The find something else that is better. But those who push through these barriers find themselves in a unique position—they know how to navigate challenges independently, making them resilient and adaptable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EslZLIUpGJY Watch this to learn more about why academic research has problems. Practical Strategies for Self-Made Scholars Accept Imperfection – Improvement is messy. Embrace mistakes as part of the process. Seek Support Where You Can – Find peers who share your drive, even if institutional support is lacking. Start Small – Tackle one new skill or area of knowledge at a time. Ignore the Competition – Your progress is not dictated by someone else’s achievements. Find Joy in the Process – Research isn’t about proving yourself—it’s about discovering and creating. You Will Feel Lost Often Almost weekly, I question whether academia is the right path for me. It’s natural to feel this way, especially when you are doing everything yourself. But the reason you want to quit is often because you are viewing academia as a competitive game. Instead, focus on playfulness and curiosity. Ignore the rankings, the impact factors, and the metrics. Focus on the idea. Research is about discovery, and when you remember that, the pressure fades. The Self-Promotion Problem Another challenge in academia is dealing with constant self-promotion from others. Many researchers will go out of their way to highlight about their accomplishments—grants, publications, awards—as if these define their worth. It can make you feel like you're falling behind, even when you're making meaningful progress. But here’s the truth: those who boast the most are often the most insecure. The more you focus on others' achievements, the worse you will feel. The best way to counter this is to detach completely. Their success has nothing to do with your journey. Keep your head down, do the work, and disregard. The Reward of Being a Self-Made Scholar Being a self-made scholar is not about prestige or validation—it’s about the freedom to pursue knowledge on your own terms. It’s about being comfortable with uncertainty, learning to rely on yourself, and finding fulfillment in the process. Yes, it’s lonely. Yes, it’s frustrating. But it is also deeply rewarding. Because when you are no longer waiting for permission to learn, you realize that the world of knowledge is yours to explore. You gain a sense of intellectual independence, an unshakable confidence that you can tackle any challenge. The ability to teach yourself means that no obstacle is too big, no field too foreign. Over time, you develop the resilience to push through setbacks, and the freedom to explore knowledge on your own terms becomes exhilarating. So keep reading. Keep questioning. Keep learning. Ignore. Disregard. Don't take so much. But, most importantly—keep going.