I don’t need to brag about how much I work.
In academia, there’s this unspoken competition of who can put in the most hours, who can publish the most papers–I have a X paper and you don’t?!
But I’ve realized that my worth isn’t tied to how exhausted I am or how many accolades I collect. I try to avoid self-citations and self-promotion because, honestly, the ideas should speak for themselves.
If they’re valuable, they’ll find their way without me having to shout about them from the rooftops.
(Of course, you will go and check if I do. I do on occasion have self-citations, but there are many more important people than I. I try to focus on them. Or, you don’t understand that the review process is a complex beast.)
If you like this post, check out this one on being the kindest in academia.
Encouraging Independent Thought in Students
I’ve never had my students read my papers in a seminar. I did once–it flopped because no one wanted to criticize it.
More importantly, it always felt a bit self-indulgent. I am Canadian–I am taught to not to talk about myself.
Instead, I want them to explore a wide range of ideas, to challenge themselves with new perspectives, and not just parrot back mine.
My research doesn’t define me. It’s a part of who I am, yes, but it’s not the whole story.
Focusing on What Truly Matters
What’s more important is that the people close to me are doing well.
I’m less concerned about my global impact and more about the immediate circles around me. That happens naturally when you invest in relationships. For me, this focus helps me get back up when things get tough.
It keeps me grounded so I can tackle the day with a clear mind and a full heart.
Embracing Humility
The most important thing is that focusing on close relationships, keeps me humble(r).
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I am not as important as I think I am.
And there’s a strange comfort in that realization. It takes the pressure off.
It allows me to focus on what truly matters without the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Screw the world–as I often say. Push back against it.
Feeling Out of Place in Academia
Yet, despite these insights, I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t fit in with academia as a professor.
I don’t like it. I have ever felt comfortable when someone venerates a “professor.” First of all, it is just silly. It is just a damn job. Second, it sets us up for a hard fall when we fail.
In many ways, I feel like a failure more than ever.
I wish I could feel like the only thing that matters is publishing in top journals at the cost of everything else. But I just don’t feel that way. I never will.
I see merit in many things outside of top journals—things that can’t be measured by impact factors or citation counts.
I am weird. I get it.
The Struggle with Academic Writing
I wish I could fall in love with writing, but I can’t. Not in the way that academia demands.
I love discovering, learning, and exploring, but that doesn’t seem to be the primary function of academia anymore.
Academia has become about writing for “the best,” playing a game of “being the best.”
Gosh, I wish I could be the best. I am not.
And perhaps that’s okay.
Probably not.
Accepting My Unique Path
I will forever feel a bit silly and stuck, like I’m in purgatory between worlds.
But maybe that’s who I am.
Maybe that’s where I’m meant to be—bridging gaps, questioning norms, and seeking authenticity in a world that often values appearances over substance.
But, I feel silly saying that. You will question my substance and how I define substance.
You are right. I don’t know what substance is.
An Audacious Goal: Impacting 100 Million Lives
But, I have this audacious goal: I want to make it to 100 million by the time I’m 50. No, not dollars—I want at least 100 million people feeling better because they saw something I shared, a message that resonated, a kindness that rippled outwards.
I have five years left to make this happen.
It probably won’t happen. That’s okay.
Simple Acts with Profound Effects
Why? The R3ciprocity Project started out one way, but then I started thinking – why can’t a be the one person who tried to do this? Would that not be a cool thing to show my grandkids? Would not others in my community, and in academia, get inspired?
You certainly don’t need to be online to make an impact. In fact, some of the most profound influences come from face-to-face interactions, from simple acts of kindness that can’t be quantified. But imagine if we all tried to affect as many people as possible in as deep a way as possible.
What if we used simple, free, and inexpensive tools to have a positive and lasting impact on those around us?
Challenging Ourselves to Make a Difference
Why don’t we challenge ourselves to implement these simple things?
Smile at a stranger, lend a listening ear to a friend in need, volunteer for a cause close to your heart. Small gestures can lead to significant changes.
I wonder what would happen in your life if you tried this? I wonder what would happen in mine?
Protecting Your Inner Peace
One of the most fascinating things that I have seen in the academic and corporate world is that people believe–a lot of people–believe that kindness is a weakness.
But, to me, its therapeutic. Yes, I get very angry. Yes, I don’t like being a pushover. Lots of people are assholes. Go drive on a highway and see.
That is not what I am saying. I am saying–don’t lose yourself to a hard world in which people grew up differently than you.
Build a shell around your sense of self, not to shut the world out, but to protect your inner peace.
Go numb to those who seek to bring you down, and embrace with open arms those who start with kindness first. Kindness and understanding are not signs of weakness.
They are signs of a healthy and well-adjusted human being. Protect that kindness fiercely.
I’ve come to realize that embracing kindness doesn’t just benefit others—it heals something within ourselves. I am a selfish asshole. I want to practice kindness for myself and my own sanity.
It reconnects us to our humanity, to the core of who we are beyond titles and achievements. And perhaps that’s the most significant impact we can have.
Navigating My Place in the World
So here I am, still navigating my place in the world, still figuring things out. I may not fit the traditional mold of an academic professor, and that’s okay. I’m carving out my own path, one that aligns with my values and aspirations.
Maybe you feel the same way. Maybe you feel out of place in your own environment, questioning if you belong. I want to tell you that it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to seek a different path, to redefine success on your own terms.
And sometimes, the most significant growth comes from stepping outside the expected norms and daring to be true to ourselves.
An Invitation to Join the Experiment
So let’s embark on this experiment together.
Let’s see what happens when we prioritize kindness, when we seek to impact others positively, when we protect our inner peace from the chaos of the world. Let’s see what happens when we measure success not by accolades or numbers, but by the warmth we bring into the lives of others.
I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I have more questions than ever.
But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the journey isn’t about finding definitive answers but about exploring the possibilities that unfold when we live authentically.
As I move forward, I’ll carry these reflections with me. I’ll strive to remember that I don’t need to be the best by conventional standards. I just need to be genuine, compassionate, and open to growth.
And perhaps, in doing so, I’ll find that I make a more meaningful impact than I ever could have imagined.
So here’s to the journey ahead—to embracing who we are, to impacting others positively, and to protecting the kindness within us.
Let’s see where this path leads. Yahoo!